Five years ago, a guy called me. We had a good conversation. He seemed interested. Understood the value.
Said he’d think about it and get back to me. Five years went by.
Then last month, out of nowhere, he called back. “I’ve been thinking about this. I’m ready. I want to get started.”
Okay! Great! When can we meet? “I just need to talk to my bookkeeper first.”
The Bookkeeper
Sure. No problem. When are you meeting with them? “Next week. I’ll call you after.” Great. Looking forward to it.
Two weeks later, still no call. So I followed up.
“Oh yeah, sorry, I haven’t had a chance to talk to my bookkeeper yet. Can we reschedule?” Sure. When works for you?
“Two weeks from now should be good. I’ll definitely have talked to them by then.” Two weeks later, we rescheduled again.
Still no bookkeeper conversation. That was two months ago.
Two months. After five years. To talk to a bookkeeper.
What I Know
Here’s what I know:
He KNOWS he needs to do this. He KNOWS it’s going to help. And obviously the bookkeeper is not the issue.
Think about it: He called ME. After five years. Said he was ready. That means he’s been thinking about this for FIVE YEARS.
The bookkeeper didn’t suddenly become relevant. The bookkeeper is the excuse.
The Pattern
I’m not calling him out. I get it. Because I do this too. We all do.
We decide we’re going to do something. We know it’s the right thing. We know it’s going to help.
And then we find a tiny thing to magnify into a huge thing so we don’t actually have to do it.
“I just need to talk to my bookkeeper.” “I just need to wait until Q2.” “I just need to finish this other thing first.”
The thing is never the thing. The thing is the excuse.
What We’re Actually Doing
Here’s what I think is actually happening: The big thing feels overwhelming. So we find a small thing that we can control.
“I can’t move forward until I talk to my bookkeeper.” Now the bookkeeper is THE obstacle. Not the big, scary, overwhelming decision. Just… the bookkeeper.
Which feels manageable. Solvable. Controllable. Except we never actually solve it. Because solving it means we have to deal with the big thing.
My Own Bookkeepers
I’ve done this so many times.
“I’ll start that project as soon as I clean my office.” Then I spend three days organizing files that didn’t need organizing.
“I’ll make that decision after I run the numbers one more time.” Then I rebuild the spreadsheet from scratch.
“I’ll have that conversation after I think through what I want to say.” Then I spend two weeks “thinking” and never actually say it.
The office didn’t need cleaning. The numbers were fine the first time. I knew what I wanted to say.
Those weren’t the obstacles. Those were the excuses.
The Question That Changes Everything
Here’s the question I started asking myself:
“If the bookkeeper called back tomorrow and said go ahead, would I actually move forward?”
If the answer is yes, then the bookkeeper isn’t the problem. If the answer is no, then what’s the REAL problem?
Most of the time, the real problem is: “I’m not sure.” “I’m scared.” “What if it doesn’t work?” “What if I can’t actually do this?”
And those are real. Those are valid. But “I need to talk to my bookkeeper” doesn’t address those. It just delays them.
What I Wish I’d Done Differently
Looking back at all my own “bookkeeper” moments, here’s what I wish I’d done: Just named the real concern.
Instead of: “I need to clean my office first.” Just say: “I’m overwhelmed and don’t know where to start.”
Instead of: “Let me run the numbers one more time.” Just say: “I’m not sure this is the right call and I’m scared.”
Instead of: “I need to talk to my bookkeeper.” Just say: “I’m not actually ready yet. I need more time.”
Because THAT’S honest. And honest is something you can work with. “I need to talk to my bookkeeper” just kicks the can down the road.
The Absurdity
Here’s what makes it absurd: We KNOW the bookkeeper isn’t the issue.
My guy knows it. I know it when I’m doing it. You know it when you’re doing it. We’re not fooling anyone. Least of all ourselves.
And yet we keep doing it. Because the small excuse feels safer than the big truth.
What Actually Helps
What actually helps is just naming it: “I know I need to do this. I know it’s going to help. And I’m not ready yet.”
That’s okay. Not being ready is fine.
What’s not fine is pretending the bookkeeper is the problem for two months while you avoid admitting you’re not ready.
Because then you’re stuck. You can’t move forward (waiting on the bookkeeper). You can’t move backward (already said you’re ready). You’re just… suspended.
What I’m Watching For Now
Now when I catch myself saying “I just need to…” about something small before I can do something big, I stop. And I ask:
“If that small thing was handled tomorrow, would I actually move forward?”
If yes, great. Go handle the small thing. If no, then I need to figure out what the REAL obstacle is. Because the small thing isn’t it.
What You Can Do
This week, watch for your “bookkeeper.”
The tiny thing you’re magnifying. The small obstacle you’re making huge. The manageable excuse you’re using to avoid the real decision.
And just ask yourself: “If this wasn’t in the way, would I actually move forward?”
If yes, handle it and move forward. If no, what’s the real concern?
Because you can address real concerns. You can’t address fake obstacles. And the bookkeeper is almost always fake.
So what would you do if you didn’t need anyone’s permission to do what you already know you need to do?